It's safe to say that you aren't a legitimate sporting franchise unless you have a clothinng line to back you up. A clothing line for the masses that says "Hey! I can't compete in this sport but I'm going to wear the clothes that make it look like I do!" Thus we have Affliction, a clothing line representing mixed martial arts and its fighters.
Yes these shirts feature a vast array of tatoo-like designs that wou were too afraid to get inked on your own body with "AFFLICTION" plastered in big gothic letters across the back or front. Yes these days having the word affliction across your body doesn't call attention to the fact that there is something wrong with you, it means you are tough. Truth be told you would probably have to be tough to overcome the grief in shilling out more than fifty dollars for a freaking t-shirt.
Bouncers, frat-boys, meat-heads, so-on so-forth, they all have at least one in their closet, and they all take every opportunity to wear it when they are in da club. These are the guys that think it's freaking tight to chug bombs at any minute so they can get that much closer to punching a wall, or regretibly someone's face.
Now, I try not to call out everyone that wears these things, there are some out there that appriciate the designs, which are pretty intricate. However, based on my own observations, in a college town no less, let me say that this kind of person represents a small minority of the surveyed population, so I won't be too merciful.
They wear the shirts about fifteen sizes too small so any arm, no matter how shapeless, looks like its packin' guns. Any man-boob becomes so compressed that they look like pecs of steel. Hell that's probably why they are so expensive, they'd have to be made of kevlar so they don't explode off of some nimrod's body from the pressure.
Browsing through the internet, I came across a Maxim article that shares my sentiments.
"If you don't own a tee like this, you've undoubtedly seen an ass-clown wearing one: emblazoned with a huge dragon, eagle, serpent, or other mythical beast, it's the douchebag shirt du jour, inspired by tattoo-art gear Von Dutch popularized a few years ago. The truth is, the only things these shirts scare away are girls who might actually have sex with you. For the love of God, cover up that creature!"
Granted, of the target demographic for these shrits, many who wear them could probably kick an ass or two, but that's not the point. These shirts have become the douchebag uniform, it makes it much easier to spot and avoid you, they turn you into walking punchlines.
I like MMA, I do, and the clothing line is co-owned by one pretty cool dude named Randy Couture, but he is the trendsetter, he gets a pass, plus HE ACTUALLY FIGHTS FOR A LIVING. The rest of the population that makes it a point to take out a loan to purchase these shirts and flaunt them are following in his bad-ass footsteps. You don't work as hard as he does and therefore, you don't get a fraction of the respect from me, only pity that it takes an expensive shirt to call attention to yourself.
So for you uber-douches out there, I present to you a theme song for your listening pleasure.
No comments:
Post a Comment