This is where activism has taken us?

Militant activism has changed regimes, shaped countries and awarded rights to those unable to attain them without the use of force. There are just causes worth fighting for; freedom, equality, love, and whales...wait what?

Yes, just when you thought it didn't get any more radical than Greenpeace, we have the members of Sea Shepherd Conservation. A rag tag team of pirate hippies hellbent on stopping the killing of innocent whales, even if it means killing human beings in the process.

Led by Paul Watson who is quote "rewarded by the friendship with many members of different species" of the ocean. The group maintains the cause of being a thorn in the side of Japanese whaling vessels in the Antarctic seas.

Now before I get too ahead of myself, let me say that I don't advocate whaling one bit. I'm not put under the illusion that the Japanese are using loopholes in international law to legally harvest whales in the name of "research". They kill upwards of 400 whales in a year, how much could they possibly need to research.


However, what they are doing is legal under the precedents of international law and is a contributing market to the Japanese economy. What members of Sea Shepard are doing is completely illegal and is borderline piracy. The Japanese are well within their rights to defend themselves when ignorant bleeding-hearts throw explosive devices with chemicals, board their ships to destroy equipment, and even do crap like this:




My sympathy isn't simply reserved for the Japanese though, I have the most sympathy for the young gullible activists that Watson and his cronies recruit. These people's lives are at risk at the hands of an idiot crew that, judging from videos I've watched, have no clue how to manage a ship. Most of this evidence can be seen in a completely objective show on Animal Planet called Whale Wars. Despite the show obviously being a tool for propaganda, there is plenty to see documenting the incompetence of these people.

In one episode, while practicing one of their "attacks", they accidentally flip a zodiac boat while launching it from a crane. On the boat were five people, and judging by the span of time in the show, it took about 20 minutes for them to figure out how to pull them out of the well below freezing waters.

There are prominent equipment malfunctions and glitches, along with the general risk of injury and death to crew when they engage the Japanese, even going so far as boarding the whaling ships and encountering them personally. But not Watson of course. He stays comfortably in the bridge of the ship while the college kids he brainwashes do all the dirty work.

In an age of genocide, sex-slavery and general inequality, this is where so much money is being put to wage war? Large rubber cylinders with fins? I think whales are majestic creatures, but I would much rather see someone using militant means to rescue young girls in Thailand that are sold on markets and raped repeatedly for the pleasure of perverted businessmen.

Sources: Sea Shepherd Website

$206 Million to make us laugh, cringe, or confused.

In a recent article (http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/28951579/) NBC has revealed that it has brought in a record 206 million dollars in ad revenue for a three hour super bowl game. And none of that came from a government bailout surprise, surprise.

Who says our economy sucks, with marketing firms willing to throw away that much money, we have yet to see what a sucky economy looks like.

So, let's speculate as to what we'll see for that dinero:

Miller High Life: A hefty black man will yell random things at us for one second incriments.

Budweiser: Can't say for sure, but it will probably involve doing something embarassing in front of a woman, getting hit in the nuts, a totally sweet dude invention, or hell, they could swing for the fences and do one that features all of that.

Movie Spots: Slow buildup...scary music...CRASH, BOOM, KAPOW, ("run" or "we can handle this" or "aw hell no"), POW POW POW...cool rock or rap music...title.

PSA's: They will tell us drugs and smoking are bad in really stupid ways that only make me want to do drugs and smoke to spite them.

Fed-EX: Funny scenarios about delivering packages, I mean like totally funny.

Pepsi: After hack celebrities get done patting themselves on the back for single-handedly getting Obama into office, they will then try to be funny all the while convincing us to drink Pepsi.

CHA-CHING!!!

p.e.t.a. REEEALLY likes vegetables.

That's right! According to this commercial, they like vegetables so much that apparently, they want to have sex with them.



In this uber-banned commercial that was slated to play during this year's superbowl, lingere-clad beauties "go veg" with various ground-grown food items.

First, to emulate a scene from Con Air:

Define...irony. Bunch of idiots use women as pieces of meat to sell the idea that eating meat is wrong.

Hmmm.

Second, "studies show...vegetarians have better sex"? How in the hell do you perform that kind of study, and who the hell performs that kind of study?
A "study", PETA, does not constitute Pamela Anderson coming to you and saying "Hey! I just had an all nighter with these two guys. One was a vegetarian and he was totally better the other guy."

Here's a study for you. According to Dr. Christopher Longcope of the University of Massachusets, men who do not have a regular protein intake are at risk of lowered testoterone, causing a decline in sexual function. In addition it damages bones and lowers red blood cell counts. (Source:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/613396.stm)

While PETA envisions a world where the deer and bunny rabbits frolic in the meadow, and "veg" men and women have earth-shattering sex, the reality of that world is that men will be limp puddles on the ground while women have orgies in the produce aisle.

So PETA, enjoy your "vegtiality". I on the other hand can not let your idiocy stand and must fight fire with fire. So take this...



Wow, I can't believe I got though all of this without a "vegetarians just need a little meat" joke...damn.

Affliction...or the douchebag nametag.

It's safe to say that you aren't a legitimate sporting franchise unless you have a clothinng line to back you up. A clothing line for the masses that says "Hey! I can't compete in this sport but I'm going to wear the clothes that make it look like I do!" Thus we have Affliction, a clothing line representing mixed martial arts and its fighters.

Yes these shirts feature a vast array of tatoo-like designs that wou were too afraid to get inked on your own body with "AFFLICTION" plastered in big gothic letters across the back or front. Yes these days having the word affliction across your body doesn't call attention to the fact that there is something wrong with you, it means you are tough. Truth be told you would probably have to be tough to overcome the grief in shilling out more than fifty dollars for a freaking t-shirt.

Bouncers, frat-boys, meat-heads, so-on so-forth, they all have at least one in their closet, and they all take every opportunity to wear it when they are in da club. These are the guys that think it's freaking tight to chug bombs at any minute so they can get that much closer to punching a wall, or regretibly someone's face.

Now, I try not to call out everyone that wears these things, there are some out there that appriciate the designs, which are pretty intricate. However, based on my own observations, in a college town no less, let me say that this kind of person represents a small minority of the surveyed population, so I won't be too merciful.

They wear the shirts about fifteen sizes too small so any arm, no matter how shapeless, looks like its packin' guns. Any man-boob becomes so compressed that they look like pecs of steel. Hell that's probably why they are so expensive, they'd have to be made of kevlar so they don't explode off of some nimrod's body from the pressure.

Browsing through the internet, I came across a Maxim article that shares my sentiments.

"If you don't own a tee like this, you've undoubtedly seen an ass-clown wearing one: emblazoned with a huge dragon, eagle, serpent, or other mythical beast, it's the douchebag shirt du jour, inspired by tattoo-art gear Von Dutch popularized a few years ago. The truth is, the only things these shirts scare away are girls who might actually have sex with you. For the love of God, cover up that creature!"

Granted, of the target demographic for these shrits, many who wear them could probably kick an ass or two, but that's not the point. These shirts have become the douchebag uniform, it makes it much easier to spot and avoid you, they turn you into walking punchlines.

I like MMA, I do, and the clothing line is co-owned by one pretty cool dude named Randy Couture, but he is the trendsetter, he gets a pass, plus HE ACTUALLY FIGHTS FOR A LIVING. The rest of the population that makes it a point to take out a loan to purchase these shirts and flaunt them are following in his bad-ass footsteps. You don't work as hard as he does and therefore, you don't get a fraction of the respect from me, only pity that it takes an expensive shirt to call attention to yourself.

So for you uber-douches out there, I present to you a theme song for your listening pleasure.